Hi everyone! Reading guest perspectives has been super helpful for me, and since I'm freshly back from attending a wedding (during which I was taking notes for myself ;), I wanted to post a guest perspective of my own.Here's the Lowdown: Western PA; two grooms, ~120 guests (totally estimating that number), 4:30 ceremony at a public garden followed by cocktail hour and reception at a park lodge. The ceremony was secular, officiated by a friend of both grooms, and maybe 20 minutes from processional to recessional. Short and sweet! Guests were then able to either drive themselves to the reception location (~20 minutes away), or drive back to the hotel (also ~20 minutes away) to catch a shuttle to the reception (you guessed, it,~20 minutes away. The three venues formed a triangle.)The reception space was fairly standard but beautifully decorated with fairy lights, candles, and chalkboard signs/burlap runners/mason jars of flowers everywhere. I didn't expect this couple to be so rustic, but it was so charming!Dinner didn't start until 6:30, but the tables were already set up so guests could either grab drinks/appetizers and sit down, or play some lawn games. Appetizers were fruit/veggie trays, and the open bar included two signature drinks as well as beer and wine. Once the wedding party arrived, the DJ made an announcement and tables were dismissed one by one for dinner, which was a taco bar buffet. After dinner, there were speeches by the officiant and maid of honor, then first dances, then the floor opened up for dancing. Lawn games stayed set up the whole time, and you could hear the music outside so it was easy to switch back and forth between dancing and giant Jenga.I could write a much longer, in-depth post, but overall I had a WONDERFUL time. Here are a few things I learned:The couple is two men, and they provided an FAQ on their website about the parts of the ceremony that might be different than what guests are used to -- for example, not being walked down the aisle by a parent, but walking down together. I thought it was a very tactful way to prepare more...shall we say, "traditional" guests...from being caught by surprise and potentially miffed by a perceived breach of etiquette. If you are including any elements that most guests would find surprising or be totally thrown off by, it's smart to mention it ahead of time so that everyone is on the same page.The ceremony itself was a great mix of super emotional and lighthearted/funny. It felt so natural and perfect for them. It's okay to laugh and go off-script! The ceremony doesn't have to be intensely solemn to feel meaningful.There was no sound system during the ceremony, so it was hard to hear all of the aforementioned emotional/funny moments. Make sure you either have a sound system or feel comfortable yelling your vows loud enough for the crowd to hear.The shuttle buses were a nice service, but one got turned around trying to find the reception venue. Not a huge deal, but if we had been on a tighter schedule it could have really thrown off the flow. If you're providing shuttles, make absolutely sure the drivers know where they're going, and build extra time into the schedule.When the couple first entered, they took a few minutes to thank everyone for being part of the day, from the catering staff to the DJ to their families and guests. It was a very sweet gesture and definitely made me feel appreciated. Do this if you can :)The wedding party went through the buffet first, so they a) got to enjoy the food they were paying for and b) were able to go around during dinner to say hello to everyone. Definitely doing this, it worked out perfectly!During dinner, only one table at a time was dismissed to go up for the buffet line, and another table wouldn't be sent until after everyone had sat down. Not sure if this is standard practice for buffets, but it seemed to take foooorever for everyone to get their food. Try to keep buffet lines moving so no one gets hangryThe music was bumpin'! After the first dances, the DJ moved right into the Wobble, which helped get the dance floor filled with people and set the tone for the rest of the night. Even as someone who doesn't dance, I loved the energy from the music and the dance floor. Even if you're anti-group dances, they're a great way to get people moving and start off the dance party.The favors were little candy bags, and even though there was one at every place setting, not everyone took them home. You don't need to count on exactly one favor per guest, even if it's edible and totally delicious!This is the first wedding I've attended where I only knew the couple and no other guests. I was looking forward to meeting some of their friends, but at dinner we were seated with 2 couples who knew each other already and a family of 4 who were too busy taking care of their young kids to talk to us. The table seated 16, but since it was only 2/3 full we actually didn't sit next to anyone at all, so the only person I talked to all night was my fiance. We're introverts so it certainly wasn't the worst thing ever, but it did feel a little weird to be essentially an island of our own amongst 120 other people. T As much as possible, please be mindful of out-of-town visitors who won't know anyone else, and try to seat people together who will get along. This was also evidence to me that you should DEFINITELY give a +1 to people coming who aren't already part of an existing social group.Anything that seems like criticism is really just details I noticed because I'm planning my own wedding -- it certainly did not take away from my overall enjoyment of the day. A few words of reassurance: This wedding definitely followed the standard ceremony-cocktail hour-dinner-dancing format and was chock full of burlap runners and chalkboard signs. I don't dance and I didn't know anyone else at my table aside from my fiance. I only got to talk with the couple for maybe 5 minutes. And you know what? I had SO MUCH FUN because I love the couple and was honored to be part of their day. Plus the food was delicious and the energy was high :) Don't feel like your wedding is a failure if it's "cookie-cutter" -- people you love are there to celebrate YOU and will have a great time no matter what :) via /r/weddingplanning http://ift.tt/2tVr3oc
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