Only inviting immediate family; How do I deal with extended family's hurt feelings?

FH & I decided on immediate family (parents, siblings, nieces & nephews) for our backyard wedding. At most, it'll be about 30 people. It was a clean line to draw that fit in our budget (my dad is one of 8 kids, not counting all their spouses and kids. Then there's my moms family, and FH's family. It would be ~100 people, not including friends.). I have a severe anxiety disorder and despise being the center of attention, so I'd much rather have a smaller crowd at my wedding. Problem is, my stepmom is giving me flack for not inviting my grandparents who don't even like weddings or parties involving my dad's side (they refused to go to my gender reveal party and bailed 15 minutes into my baby shower with my daughter.) The wedding will be in my dad's backyard, but they're not paying for anything in the wedding. I'm standing my ground on the guest list, but how do you deal with hurt feelings when it comes to family? And how do you deal with other people's opinions about your wedding, especially when they're not paying for any of it? via /r/weddingplanning http://ift.tt/2sI1hPf