Thank you for looking. I am losing my mind on what to do. I apologize, but this will be long. I need your genuine, unbiased advice.Tl;dr: This is a larger issue than being her MoH. But my sister was reluctantly my MoH at my wedding and now she wants me to be hers. She threw me a Instagram pretty bridal shower and gave a pretty speech at our wedding (she posted these things to her social network immediately which makes me believe she does it primarily for that reason). It is unfair on my part because I should be happy, it is an honor, but I am not because she bosses me around. Lately, she doesn’t treat me as a decent sister which is why I was not enthusiastic about being her MoH (husband expects she will be bossy). Furthermore, mom is mentally ill thus sister has been lashing out to me calling me names, texting me 10 texts messages yelling at me and 10 phone calls just to yell about me about our mom situation (see below). Should I suck it up, ignore her emotionally abusive yelling and just be her MoH for one day?Background: So there's me (27 years) and my sister (30 years). I live in California with my new husband (yay!), working here and my sister lives in Hawaii with her fiance and 2 young children. My sister chose to have her kids in her early 20’s.The ultimate thing that sucks: We have been dealing with our mom who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 6 years now. Mom was diagnosed with depression for 20 years. Mom is also living in Hawaii too. Our mom is very ill. For those who do not understand bipolar disorder, it’s real and it is awful.Mom MAIN ISSUE: Mom has had 3 homes in the past. The first 2 were nursing homes, who eventually kicked mom out because mom refused to take her meds (result of bipolar disorder) and became manic (i.e. yelling, screaming, crazy behavior). So now, mom is in her 3rd home, and my sister and I feel the inevitable thing is going to happen…SISTER’S PROBLEM: My sister has never been a nice person to me. She’s always overly sensitive and very dramatic. She’s dealing with my mom’s issues in-person and sends me millions of rage texts how it’s unfair she’s dealing with my mom and how I’m not involved. I was there emotionally for my sister in the very beginning, but ever since she sends me hate text messages filled with rage and curse words… So you can see why I do not want to be her MoH. I am not enthusiastic about it. My wedding, I made her my MoH because she was like: You better make me MoH. Deep inside, I thought she should be my MoH since she’s my sister. But my husband was against it. I should not have made her my MoH because at that time she complained all I did was talk about wedding stuff and now that’s what she does and exp Husband has known her emotional abusive side for a long time now and despises my sister (sister has always been overly mean to me throughout my life).We don't have Power of Attorney or guardianship, nor have the money to get it (because my mom refuses to sign for anything). It'd definitely end up being us going to court thing but we don't have the money. Currently, we are facing the backlash of my mom's crazy behavior again. We don't know what to do anymore. We are worried this new home will kick her out. My mom's case manager has given up on her, my sister is sick of finding her new homes (mom also keeps running away AND/OR stops taking medication eventually), and I am in California doing my best from long distance. My sister has repeatedly said she wants my mom to move here so I deal with everything from now on. She doesn’t care if it’s in my mom’s interest or what. She wants to be freed of my mom.ULTIMATE PROBLEM: Mom has never accepted her mental illness (she was diagnosed 25 years ago). Sister is currently yelling at me because we're frustrated. I looked into bringing my mom up here in California, but what's the point when she's going to repeat what she does in the past? I don't have a high paying job or house to support my mom, and neither does my sister. And I asked my mom if she’s willing to move here, but she said she does not want to. In Hawaii, she knows people; she knows her mom, and sister, and know the places in Hawaii. Here she will only have me. via /r/weddingplanning http://ift.tt/2uaLf4c
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